A goodbye

I’ve just come home from a hospital. I’m a bit speechless.

Simone, dear Simone. A lovely girl, a great friend.

I don’t know how to write this, but need to.

Simone passed away this evening. Her boyfriend Frodo died last sunday. They had a car crash on December 31st. Simone was 31 and Frodo 39. I never got the chance to get to know him.

Simone was a talented oboist. She had a great sense of humour and joy, she was just great to be around. In the last years, we didn’t see each other that often, though we always remained good friends.

It’s very hard to believe that this is happening.

The last time I saw Simone was in October. We spend a few hours together and talked and laughed. She told me then about Frodo, how in love she was and happy with him. I was so happy for her. I’ve heard these last 3 days from her family how happy they were together, with plans to start a family.

Simone’s sister, Andrea, is the one who called me to tell me the devastating news. I’m so glad she did. When I got there on monday, she told me the state in which Simone was, there was very little hope. She was in a coma and the doctors were trying one last treatment, but in vain. Andrea told me back then that Frodo has passed on sunday. One of my first thoughts was that, in that case, let her go too, let them be together wherever that is. I’ve read lots of things about what happens after we die but of course have no clue myself. So I’m simply wishing them…

Such events bring some new perspective into your life. I am going through difficult times myself but am keeping a bright outlook on life. Definitely. This is the only way I wish to live now, being optimistic and enjoying the little things of life, even – or especially – in the face of adversity. There’s no time nor space for doubt, fear, anxiety, worry, being down anymore, these just bring sadness and I just don’t want to be sad, I want to be joyous and bring joy to those around me, those that I love. Just walking back home felt great, I was just happy to be alive, in my full physical, emotional and mental capacities, and have the chance to feel alive.

Simple things.

My mistakes have brought me a renewed sense of really enjoying and nurturing what is there. Nurture what and who is precious in your life. I can draw, and will do so, a list of all the simple things I enjoy doing. This list includes singing, friends, laughing, loving, beauty, cooking and eating good foods, drawing, writing, giving, exercise, music, or just enjoying being in the company of someone special… on and on.

Simone was my girlfriend from 1999 to 2001. We shared a lot. We lived together. We broke up, I can’t even really remember the reason why. But we did so in a very healthy way, which is how we managed to remain such good friends til the end. Since her, my love life has been pretty erratic until I met Lucy who I deeply love, unconditionally.

And it’s on this note I wish to wrap up this post. I am, in my life, now, finally, after years of searching, growing into real, unconditional, Love. I wish everyone the same.