Shower

21 09 2006

I got this one from a friend today (thanks Romy), and it made me laugh so much I wanted to share it with you:

Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
*Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
*Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
*Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
*Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
* Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
*Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
*Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
*Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
*Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
*Rinse conditioner off hair.
*Shave armpits and legs.
*Turn off shower.
*Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
*Spray mold spots with Tilex.
*Get out of shower.
*Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
*Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
*If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
*Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
*Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
*Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
*Get in the shower.
*Wash your face.
*Wash your armpits.
*Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
*Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
*Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
*Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
*Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
*Pee.
*Rinse off and get out of shower.
*Partially dry off.
*Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
*Admire wiener size in mirror again.
*Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
*Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
*Throw wet towel on her pillow.

Recognizable? 😉

Advertisements

Actions

Information

2 responses

21 09 2006
the mrs

This is was great! Especially the “shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound”. You have no idea how often that happens in my house…=P

22 09 2006
nans

*read blog and laughed out load
*regonizable? no!
*only man in the house is 8, hangs towel back in bahtroom, makes no woo-woo sounds but sings in shower
*follow this womans routine? would never be at work on time!
* have a nice day to you all!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: