Trust, once again

7 05 2008

If only I’d had had more trust in myself and in life – more self-confidence – and more self-respect. Calmly but clearly expressing my views and feelings. I would have ended up the past weeks in a much sunnier place. 


Ok, so I didn’t. Time to start now. Simply. Without having to resort to behaving aggressively or anything in that range. 

Months ago I had come across a similar situation, where once I started trusting again, things came back in place. However I didn’t let it last long. Insecurity soon took over again. 

Now that I’ve been through what seemed to me like a hurricane – and as I understand the reasons for it to have happened, those being, again, my fears and insecurities – and I know how easily we can do ourselves and others harm even though we believe we’re trying to achieve something else – I never want this again – trust in myself and in the Universe is all I need and all there is to ever need. Love, acceptance, understanding, respect, trust, mental discipline. Whenever that little voice of fear comes whispering to your ear, tell her you’re not paying attention to her anymore. She’ll keep on coming, trying, whispering. You can’t hear her. She’ll end up leaving. Disappearing. She was only strong because you believed she could be. 

It’s all about how you choose to look at things, isn’t it? About how you want to feel. Let’s call a cat a

I want to feel good. Steady. Self-confident. Trusting. Calm, loving, open. Most of all, alive 🙂

For if you choose to remain angry or bitter or deceived at something or someone, then you will remain angry or bitter or deceived at that something or someone. If in the case of a person, whatever that person will ever say or do will only be perceived through these ‘glasses’ of ‘he/she’s a jerk’ or something similar. If, however, you take things more relatively, try and understand, and listen with your heart, then you have much better chances of progressing and being really free and stable. And of releasing the pressure

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer




One response

14 05 2008

Trusting in myself will be easy for me soon… On the other hand, trusting in others will be like fighting my way through a hurricane, 6 small wind storms, and a hail shower.

I don’t have the little voice of fear ever since I went off Zoloft years ago. She doesn’t tend to talk inside my head anymore, yet her voice was very deep and shrill. Maybe I chased her away on purpose.

I do want to feel good though, so I’ll work on some of those steps. The truth is I’m nowhere near as bad as I once thought I was — so I guess that’s the self-confidence coming back. Already regained the self-respect.

Behaving aggressively? Na, not really. Pretty rare. Way better with that than I used to be. I’ve actually mellowed. Maybe I’m just too tired.

Loving? I’m actually very loving if the person deserves it. Ditto with trusting. I’m actually a very trusting person if the person deserves it. I kind of go by the rule: “Treat me well, and I’ll never do you wrong. I’ll be yours for life.” That’s kind of how I think about that.

Calm? Hmm, I’m calm with calm people. Kind of hard to be calm if someone is always on you.

One thing I do need to work on: I’m kind of cocky to some extent; I’m kind of a smart-aleck. Another fault of mine is I tend to think I’m better than those I have been around. Although, in many ways… Oh well, I know I’ll get what I want eventually. It was always my fate to end up happy.

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